Sunday 28 December 2008

Saturday 27 December 2008

Fashion Tip #5

Took a BMI test early apparently I have a BMI of 19.3. This means I'm too healthy to be fashionable. Under 18.4 is classed as underweight/perfection. If I lose a stone I'll be well underweight and be able to look the height of fashion.
So excited.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
How y'all Fatty's doing?

p.s. started writing memoirs the other day not sure how I feel about it.

Tuesday 23 December 2008

lyrical genius

How does he do it?



love abraham

Sunday 21 December 2008

Fuck you....

I was recently extremely annoyed by some prick trying to tell me how charity makes the world a better place. The only fucking thing that charity does is clears the conscience of people who have money, those fuckers who talk about how there changing the world. There full of shit and the worst part is they seem to believe what there saying. They actually think there helping people when they buy a red 'fucking' nose. Excuse me but who the fuck actually wants a red fucking nose? Could I not just give you a pound and you not waste plastic on these pieces of shit? No but that's not possible because fucks like that need to have something to prove they care. Why? Because they couldn't give a fuck. Plus are people actually that naive that they think are government and the government's of other 'first world' countries are going to allow third world countries like Africa to become independent powers? NO! YOU FUCKS. The reason there is third world countries is because 'first world' countries need someone to be on the bottom so they can be on the top. With fossil fuel depleting rapidly the worst thing countries like America and England can imagine is third world countries to evolve and start using fuel. No matter how much money is poured into charity's the government is going to find more and more ways to fuck over every single minority in the world. The fact you pay taxes nullifies the fact you give to charity for the soul reason you can't fund an oppressor and then expect Africans to be shouting your fucking praise because your wearing a red nose. Don't worry though you're conscience is safe as you sit watching schools being built in you're name as you're government tests vacine's on them so you can live till you're too old to know you're fucking alive and African's are dying in the fields and factories waking sure you hae a nice clean shirt to wear as you bask in you're fucking glory listening to all you're money has achieved. I really don't even what to begin talking about those fucking religous charities. I used to love in school when you'd fill a shoe box full of toys and stuff for a child so they can have a christmas. Which to be fare is a small fucking thing compared to there problems but I assumed it was something that couldn't be ruined. Then I found they were talking out all the fucking toys I'd spent my time packing into that shoe box to make room for a fucking bible. Sorry but you think preaching about some bollocks religion to children in war torn countries mainly because of religous wars is going to help? I'd rather toss off a homeless person.

Fuck This World.
Happy reading:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/panorama/7738297.stm

Thursday 18 December 2008

Ahhh....


I recently aquried the Arcade Fire's christmas album from 2002. This album was meant to have been recorded in an apartment of two of the members of the band, yet my issue is not with the quality of the recording but with the actual music. This although this album was recorded before the bands first offical album "Funeral"  i still expected the same level of greatness in the actual music. I was beyond disapointed. The album had to have been a micky take or something along those lines as the album wasn't anywhere near the brilliantly high quality we're used to. Here is something that we have some to expect from Arcade fire http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=wjxef8AfVQg. Get stoked.

Tuesday 16 December 2008

Top Ten Albums of 2008

Surprisingly some pretty good albums came out this year hidden beneath the shit that I've come to expect.


#10 The Dresden Dolls - No Virginia
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I like this band for many reasons, not just because I'd probably plug the singer/pianist Amanda Palmer
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I much prefer this album to Yes, Virginia aswell although this is ment to be outtakes from that album.



#9 The Brian Jonestown Massacre - My Bloody Underground
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
The Brian Jonestown Massacre are nothing short of epic. Anton Newcomb is nothing short of a genius. But I can't help but say I'm slightly dissapointed with this album, although it oozes with quality at times some songs such as 'Who Cares Why' just seem to go on far longer than they have to which makes it hard for me to listen to the full song which is extremley unusual for me. However despite it's faults great songs such as 'We Are The Niggers Of The World' and 'Yeah-Yeah' easily make up for them.



#8 Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Effects of 333
(can't find album artwork)
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
If your expecting this album to fit in with the rest of 'BRMC' you will be disappointed if your open minded you'll be stoked.



#7 Bob Dylan - The Bootleg Series Vol. 8; Tell Tale Signs
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I must admit I am a very big fan of Bob Dylan and love the bootleg series. It blows my mind to see that a series of outtakes, unreleased, rare and live tracks can make better albums than most artists will ever achieve. It's hard to believe that some of these tracks didn't make it onto the studio albums they were made for example after listening to a third version of 'Mississippi' you have to wonder what Dylan was playing at leaving it off 'Time Out Of Mind' I can't help but feel I would have prefered it to 'Highlands' for the closing track of the album.

All of the live tracks on the album are amazing and have renewed my determination to see Dylan live before the chance is missed. This album easily lives up to the quality that people have come to expect from Dylan.



#6 Jakob Dylan - Seeing Things
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I first heard Jakob Dylan in the band 'The Wallflowers' and it wasn't until I heard he was bringing out a solo album that I discovered he was the son of Bob Dylan. I was immediately excited and wasn't disappointed one bit when it came out. Your attention is grabbed immediately by the opening track 'Evil is Alive and Well', which is followed by what in my opinion is easily the best song on the record 'Valley of the Low Sun' which is a thoroughly outstanding.

Although I was quite fond of the wallflowers there is something about this album that I don't think Dylan ever would have achieved with them.





#5 The Mountain Goats- Heretic Pride
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I admit I've never really gave 'The Mountain Goats' a chance until quite recently and I was pleasantly surprised to find they are great. Unfortunately I can't compare it to there earlier work as I've never really heard enough of it, but if the earlier albums are anywhere near the quality of this one then I have a feeling I won't be disappointed by them.




#4 Dead Meadow- Old Growth
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Fix your self a strong drink sit back and play it fucking loud.




#3 M83 - Saturdays=Youth
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Death is her boyfriend
She spits on summers and smiles to the night
She collects crowns made of black roses
But her heart is made of bubble gum





#2 Darker My Love - 2
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
When Tim Presley was asked which genre his band fell under he replied 'We don’t want to fall under any blanket … blankets smother you.' So I wont try and give it one. I strongly suggest giving this band a listen especially this album(much preferable to the last). The album artwork is by lead guitarist/vocalist Tim Presley and would probably have got the album into the list even if I didn't like there music.





#1 Crystal Castles - Crystal Castles
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
I love Crystal Castles. I love Alice Glass. I'd probably even give Ethan Kath a tug. This album is amazing.

Monday 15 December 2008

Tynemouth.


Basically Tynemouth has a terrific market and a few of us have been down with some people i used to go to school with, it was epic. Some inspired purchases were made, there was multiple vinyls, a camera and a wallet. Also there were some photographs taken whilst we were there ( see above).
This market had everything you could possibly ask for from accordians to nazi memorabilia. Of course there was a large amount of shit there that no-body would have wanted but there was some brilliant thing, i would reccomend it to almost anyone who isn't a complete upper class snob who wouldn't go near a charity shop but would enter a "vintage shop" with no hesitation. But yeah everybody who goes will find something worthy of a purchase although i would not reckomend the burgers as the majority of us were sure that it was dog food with onions but other than that it's a good day out.
Go and get stoked.

George Bush

(Ignore the tweaker at the end. Don't subscribe to his video's.)


Am I the only one that thinks George Bush's talents are wasted being a politician?
Could you dodge the shoe of an angry Iraqi? Are shoes the only weapons Iraqi's have? Is that how Saddam lost?

Sunday 14 December 2008

Fashion Tip #4

In all honesty what is the point in males wearing underwear? It's like wearing a second pair of socks there's no point unless you've got some weird rash. No-one can even tell if your wearing any I haven't been wearing any for over a week and my balls feel better than they've ever felt and no-one has even noticed I'm not wearing any. Sure accidents happen like when I tore my pants and walked around school all day with my dick hanging out but that's the risk that comes with giving your balls the freedom they deserve. One exception is long john's because everyone wants to feel like a pirate.

See even Jessica Stam loves a bit of swashbuckling every now and then.

Anton.


Anton Corbijn is epic, not only is he a tremendous photographer he also directed the film "Control" about the band Joy Division and mainly Ian Curtis. 
Get stoked on him http://www.corbijn.co.uk/ 
(The above photo is of David Bryne by Anton.)

Tuesday 9 December 2008

It's time to admit you have a problem when...

you need a wank so bad you try to knock one out while your driving and crash killing a father and son.
Imran Hussain however thought it was perfectly to get in his car and beat one out while driving at speeds in excess of 120/mph.
When people came to Mr Hussain's aid it was reported he tried to flee the scene without putting his cock away probably hoping to disarm it in a near by field as he still seemed to be fully loaded.

Have you ever caused death by giving yourself a tug job whilst on a dual carriageway? Is this a sexual fantasy that others would like to act out? Is this man just a victim of his addiction or a dirty cunt who could have at least pulled into a layby?
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Saturday 6 December 2008

Diet ruined.

Had two spliff's and needed to fill my scran belly. Bad times.

Thursday 4 December 2008

Fashion Tip #3

I started a new diet today. I'm only allowed coffee, cigarettes and water for a week. I imagine that shit will get rough after a couple of days, but I imagine I'll get good results. I think alcoholic beverages are allowed also which is good because I'll be able to get fucked up without spending too much money due to the empty belly. Might get a mohawk sometime this week also.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Do you hate FGGTS?

Is it cool to be a FGGT?
Is FGGT an insulting word?
Does God really hate FGGTs?
I decided the answers to all these questions lay on this website http://www.godhatesfags.com/ I wasn't really bothered by FGGTS but this impartial view on FGGTs has completely turned me around.

GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, FAGS DOOM NATIONS, THANK GOD FOR DEAD SOLDIERS, FAG TROOPS, GOD BLEW UP THE TROOPS, GOD HATES AMERICA, AMERICA IS DOOMED, THE WORLD IS DOOMED, etc.

It clearly states that AIDS is not a bad thing it was simply created by God to cure FGGTs. We should be thanking god everyday for this wonderful cure he has set upon the world.